Pleasure

The world around us is full of distractions.

We know this.

So many times, we are reminded of this fact by our fellow Christians. That in and of itself is nothing new, so in this article, we’re not going to discuss the way we get distracted. We’re going to take a few minutes to think about why we get distracted.

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If someone were to open an article with what I just wrote, I would think something like this: “Oh okay, so he’s going to write about where our heart is and priorities.” Well, no. That’s actually not what I’m going to write about either. In this article, we’re going to discuss pleasure.

What do you enjoy doing, other than the obvious things? (Praying, studying God’s word, etc.)

Besides doing things to strengthen my (and others’) relationship with Christ, I personally enjoy sleeping, eating, reading, making music, playing video games, and drinking coffee (and did I mention sleeping?). Occasionally, I’ll work out.

Sadly, that’s about all I do in my spare time.

If someone gave you a piece of paper and told you to list your top five favorite things to do, and you were the only person who would see it – you could throw it away when you were done – what would they be?

In this article, I’d like to present you with a point of view that I sometimes struggle to accept. I get distracted very easily, both when it comes to temporary goals and when it comes to long-term goals, so it’s hard for me to think about life through the lens that we are going to briefly discuss for a few moments.

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I hope that you’ll agree with me when I say that anything we choose to do “for fun” brings us pleasure.
(This is where you think “duh, Ethan.”)

That’s not a challenge for anyone to comprehend.

The part that’s hard for me to comprehend and live by, and may possibly be hard for you as well is that nothing brings lasting pleasure in this world except for one thing: love.

God is love, so it only makes sense right? We all know that only by following God’s word can we have lasting happiness; that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about the things we actually “do.”

For example: I like to play video games.
That will never bring lasting happiness.
My two best friends both absolutely enjoy watching sports – any sport.
That will never bring lasting happiness.
Most people in the world, especially here in America, enjoy going on vacation.
That also will never bring lasting happiness.
  
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This is another point at which you’re thinking “obviously, we all know that Ethan, get to the point.”

The point is: what do you do to de-stress?

I’m not saying that these things I’ve listed are inherently wrong, because they’re not, but how do they rank on the list we discussed earlier? I can remember times that I’ve told people that I deeply care about

“yeah, I’ll talk to you later, I’m playing PlayStation,”
“hang on, the game is about to be over and I want to see this last touchdown”
“aw, come on! you walked right in front of the TV right as he shot that 3-pointer”
“this is my show, stop talking or I’m going to rewind it”
“will you stop interrupting me? I’m trying to read the newspaper”
or other, similar things.

Have you ever said anything like this?

I can think of many more times when I just pretended to pay attention to someone while he or she was trying to communicate with me because, at the time, I was absorbed in something else I enjoyed doing, like reading Facebook or watching a movie.

When did playing videogames become more important than talking with our parents?
When did the ballgame become more important than talking with our children?
When did the TV show become more important than talking with our spouses about how his or her day went?
When did that ball-game become more important than being on time for the worship service?

The answer to all these questions is simply that we have forgotten what brings us true happiness; it’s love.
Love brings us permanent happiness.

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I don’t know about you, but I tend to take many wonderful interactions, with family, friends, and even with random people that I meet throughout the day completely for granted.
To be honest, there have been plenty of times that I’ve had a friend call me or text me and tell me that he or she needs to talk with me about something, and I don’t even reply or respond because I’m lying there on my comfy, soft couch; I don’t want to stretch my arm far enough to grab my cell phone off the table.

Sometimes I may even be a little upset because the individual disrupted my moment of silence and aloneness, or interrupted the moment that I was taking to enjoy some form of entertainment!

How dare someone that I care about interrupt my TV show!
Right?

Wrong.

I’m sure there have been times in all of our lives when someone wanted and needed our attention, and I’m not saying that we need to forsake our previous obligations (God, family, etc.) to serve everyone in any way that they want us to.

This article is not about the love we must show towards those we aren’t intimately close to.
It is, however, about our deepest and most intimate friendships and relationships.
We need to try our best to put others – especially those closest to us – first in these specific situations.

I love playing videogames, but playing videogames by myself is only fun for so long, and if I ignore the people I care about while I’m doing it, I may be playing by myself for a long time when they politely find someone else to go to for company.

I also know quite a few people that truly love watching sports. Yes, I mean “love.”

I actually once heard of a fella that loves football so much that he will literally get angry if his wife walks in and starts telling him about her day during the pivotal touchdown of the game, or during a crucial play.
Can you believe that?

He actually gets angry and snaps at her because he’s that into the game.

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Now, in that example, he obviously values sports much more than I do, because I’m not the biggest fan, so I can’t say I know exactly how he feels, but I can say that compared to his marriage – compared to his family – it’s just a game.

Honestly, I can remember a time in my past when I would angrily snap at my girlfriend if she interrupted my Xbox Live Match because I couldn’t pause it.

Really?

No matter what we enjoy, whether it’s videogames, sports, vacation, sleeping, reading, anything,
none of that is any fun if we don’t have love in our lives.

At least, it’s not fun for any significant amount of time. We must have our deep, fulfilling personal friendships and relationships, centered around Christ, in order to be happy.

To illustrate my point: vacation is fun, but it’s not fun to go alone.

In other words, there is never a point in your life or in mine that the ball game is more important than a wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, child, best friend, or anything else.

There is never a point in time that my playing videogames, watching the ballgame, or making music matters more than my family or my friends.

If the people we are close to are okay with giving us our “me-time,” that’s great. They should be – we all need some alone time every once in a while to keep from going crazy.

We all need a break sometimes.

However, if our alone time gets interrupted by someone, especially those we care about, we ought not to get bent out of shape or be upset about it.

We ought to be pleased and grateful that the people who interrupt our “me-time” are close to us and that we find a sense of lasting happiness and comfort because they are a part of our lives.  

We should always ask ourselves: which one will matter more in 10 years?
We can shorten it: how about in one week?
I encourage each of you to try with me to put those we care about before anything else.

If I walk in from a long day of work and someone I care about texts me or calls me, I’m going to pick up the phone and build on that friendship or that relationship because love is the only true, lasting pleasure.

Brotherly love, romantic love, family love, all of it – God is love, God is forever, God lasts forever; therefore,
love lasts forever.

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The love we experience and share in the relationships we have with those we care about are going to make us happy forever; that touchdown or TV show which we miss simply aren’t lasting pleasures.
I’ve even heard of people cancelling dates, dinners with their families, and other similar things because they had scheduled them for the same night as the season premiere of their favorite TV show.
In my personal experience, it seems that more often than not, it’s not about a TV show; it’s about the ball-game.

“I know it’s her birthday – but the game starts at 3, and I sleep in until 12 – reckon we can get this whole cake party thing done within an hour or two so I can watch the pregame?”

Hobbies are fun, but they should never outrank our interpersonal relationships, at any given point in time.

Let’s not be afraid to put down the remote, put down the controller, put down the guitar, put down the football, whatever the case may be, and be there for the people we care about.

Now, I neglected to use verses until this point, because I didn’t want to detract from the train of thought I have presented to you by causing you to pause and flip pages, but now that I’ve made my point, let’s look at some verses to see what the Bible says about the topic.

This is probably the first section of scripture that comes to mind when someone says “God is love,” and I’m sure we have all heard it before, but please turn to 1 John 4:6-12 and read it again anyway.

Another scripture, which is often used as the “scripture for love”, is in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13.  

And last, but not least, let’s look at John 13:24-25.

There are many more verses on love – I know – I just chose these randomly because they illustrate a point:

Love is important.

We must nurture our personal relationships with all of our heart, soul, and mind, or they are doomed to fail. If we focus on Christ and focus on showing his love to everyone – specifically, in this case, those we are closest to – then we know that everything will happen for the ultimate glory of God.

We will know that everything that happens in our interpersonal relationships is for God’s ultimate benefit.

And that… will make us happy.

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This brief study only covered a specific type of love – this is definitely not the only facet of the topics – but it is a good starting point for us when thinking about how we conduct our day-to-day lives around those we’re close to.

It’s too easy, for me anyway, to get so caught up in evangelizing and being kind and warm to others that I neglect to show the proper affection to those who are closest to me; I hope that this lesson has benefited your personal life as much as writing this article benefited mine.

Have a great week! Please, let me know what you think – suggestions, comments, anything is absolutely more than welcome. I want to learn as much as you’re willing to teach me.

Thanks for taking the time to read this,
Bro. Ethan